


Anticipation

by dani1314



Series: Falling for You [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Las Vegas Setting, Romance, Told mainly from Armin's perspective but it's not first person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-17 01:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4646958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dani1314/pseuds/dani1314
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After 15 years of being on stage as a star contortionist, 32-year old Mikasa Arlert is ready to settle down and try for a child with her husband, Armin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Third Time's The Charm

Since her debut in the beginning of January 2000, Mikasa Ackerman dazzled audiences in Las Vegas through her contortionist act within the Cirque Du Lune show, “Goddesses of the World.” The then fifteen-year old had been dubbed “The Goddess of the Air” by her admirers from all over the world. Needless to say, being the star of the show at such a young age was a frightening experience from the very beginning.

And yet, she persevered through the complications that came with the pressures of being a Las Vegas favorite, including suffering a few injuries. Thankfully, she was always grateful to rely on her circus family for their constant support during even her lowest instances. 

As she got older and her performances grew riskier, she wondered how long she would continue with her act. During a brief press conference, she was asked such a question. Perhaps her answer had changed, considering she was still fairly young, around 18, when this instance occurred. Pressing a contemplative finger under her chin, she paused before answering the interviewer’s question with a humbled smile.

“To me, it’s not about how long I plan to continue but how I plan to enjoy my time at the Cirque. When I’m on stage, it really does feel like I’m walking on air, which seems appropriate for my nickname.” 

Another pause followed and with a hand rested on her chin, lips upturned into a pout, she added, “If only I were a real goddess because I’d love to stay on the stage forever.”

 

▂▃▅▆▇▇▆▅▃▂

 

Fifteen years have passed and the beloved goddess has since retired. She has been married to her husband and fellow retired performer, Armin. The two announced their initial retirement shortly after their engagement in September of 2013. Their last show took place in January of 2014 and with bittersweet farewells to their fans and circus family, they settled down in a private home of their own. 

Mikasa rested her head against the bedside she shared with her husband, eyelids shut as the morning sun peered through the thin slits of the blinds. She stirred at as the light reached on top of her eyelids, forcing herself to grip the sheets of the bed, lifting them over her head. She heard a knock at the front door, to which she responded with a permissive groan, words failing to sneak past her lips. 

Armin allowed himself inside, assuming that his wife was asleep at the moment and opting not to call out for her. Regardless, he obligated himself, as fueled by a hint of anxieties running through his mind, to at least check on her. A cautious hand reached out for the doorknob into their bedroom, to which he’d turn in a slow motion and opening the door halfway. He peered his head inside, blue-eyed gaze looking towards the silhouette underneath the bed sheets.

“Mikasa?”

His voice was toned down to a whisper, but he could hear utter an acknowledging groan in response. Making his way towards the bed, his tall figure standing over the silhouette as he reached out to pull back the sheets. In spite of her stubbornness, he was surprised to find that Mikasa was allowing him to proceed. When he pulled the sheets back, his gaze softened at the sight of his exhausted wife, the edges of the light complementing her white tank top. His lips soon upturned into a grin the moment Mikasa opened her eyelids halfway.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better,” she said, eyelids squinting as the sunlight hovered over her pupils.

“My nausea’s gone down a little bit.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Dark-brown eyes gazed upwards as she raised a beckoning hand towards her husband. Armin crouched on one knee before reaching out to take her hand, thumb brushing against the bones of her knuckle. 

“You’re so impatient.”

“I’m surprised you’re figuring that out just now,” snorted Mikasa, rolling her eyes. 

“Oh, right. How could I possibly forget?” chuckled Armin, removing his hand to untie his boots. 

Mikasa allowed her hand to dangle from the edge of the bed, watching absent-mindedly as Armin removed his boots. The room fell a shade dimmer as the light made a steady descent away from the blinds. A sudden thud startled Mikasa from her empty thoughts, glancing down at Armin’s boots.

The frames of the bed creaked from the brief movements as Armin crawled into the bedside. The taller man slipped his arms around Mikasa’s firm waist, both hands resting on top of her abdomen. 

“So, are you ready to know for sure?”

“I am.”

“Yeah. I am, too.”

Their appointment with the gynecologist was scheduled for 5pm. While her anticipations rose, an unsettling thought coaxed the corners of Mikasa’s lips to twitch. 

“What if it comes back negative again?”

“We can always look at other options, Mikasa,” reminded Armin, the brush of his hand smoothing against her abdomen. The small of her backside molded to his touch, the warmth of his embrace soothing against the anxious chills running down her spine. 

“I know, but we’ve been trying for a year and a half now. I’m just really tired of waiting.” 

“We still have plenty of time. As long as you’re willing to keep trying, then so will I.”

“Of course I’m gonna keep trying. I’m impatient.”


	2. The Words We've Been Waiting For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin and Mikasa return from the hospital after hearing the results of Mikasa's pregnancy test.

The car had stopped at the red light. No one had spoken since leaving the hospital. Armin’s throat tightened as he sneaked a glance at Mikasa, eyebrows scrunched in concern. There was an evident numbness in her face, chilling and void of any brightness. 

Her tears were dry for the most part; there were visible stains trailing down the apples of her cheeks towards the edges of her chin. Her nostrils flared as she sniffled and Armin fought back the urge to flinch. The papers in her hands had become scattered pieces nestled on her lap. He glanced back at the light, which finally turned green.

As anxious as the silence made him, he refused to do anything about it. The radio was left off because there was no telling if she’d reach over and shut it off. The only other way he could distract himself was through his driving. Home was still a few miles away.

After Armin parked the car in the driveway, Mikasa stepped out and shut the car door behind her. Not a moment later, Armin turned off the car and sunk back into his seat, rubbing his temples with an exasperated groan. 

He looked over at the remaining pieces of shredded paper on the passenger’s seat where Mikasa sat. By the time they got to the car, not so much as a second passed before she started carefully ripping those papers up, strip by strip, and let them fall to her lap as the tears slowly squeezed past her eyelids, forcing them shut as they rolled down her cheeks. He then grabbed his keys and stepped out of the car.

Armin slipped off his boots, setting them on the mat next to Mikasa’s boots, and stepped into the living room. The hardwood floor felt cold against the heels of his feet. The heater whirred in the distance as he made his way towards the hallway to his left. 

He stopped at the front door to the master bedroom, knocking softly. For a moment, he heard the shuffling of the bed followed by the brief thump as Mikasa made her way toward the door. Armin heard the click as she opened it all the way. He could see that she already stripped down to her white tank top and black briefs.

“Mikasa.”

Armin’s hands hovered over Mikasa’s shoulders, unsure if she would allow him to touch her. A nod of acknowledgement followed and Armin breathed a sigh of relief, carefully resting aforementioned hands against her shoulders.

“Don’t take these results to heart. These types of situations aren’t uncommon but this doesn’t mean we need to lose hope. We will be parents someday. In the meantime, you should get some rest.”

An unimposing hand reached out towards Armin, which he took tenderly with his own, kissing it with a sigh. He escorted Mikasa back to their bed, which had been left unmade since morning. She seemed to take comfort in the messy sheets, as she was hardly a stickler for cleanliness. 

Leaning in, Armin brushed back the stray hairs from her forehead. Mikasa shut her eyelids as she hummed an incomprehensible response, lips splitting at a slight part as she relaxed herself into the coolness of the pillows. 

_At least she’s resting,_ he thought. _This is what she needs._

While sitting on the living room couch, Armin recollected the events leading up to the incident at the doctor’s office a few moments ago. At that point, it was all too vivid; an unwanted prick embedded within the nerves of his psyche.

He could have done something to help her. He could have squeezed her hand tighter instead of letting go. He could have held Mikasa as she fell to her knees and sobbed instead of the doctor. He could have reminded her about their other options. But he didn’t. He just sat there in his seat and stared helplessly.

Even as he covered his ears, Mikasa’s sobs echoed in his mind. Shaky hands struggled to keep their hold and soon enough, the weight his hands quickly sank onto his lap, fingernails gripping into the thick fabric of his jeans. Biting his lip proved useless as the tears spilled from the corners of his squinting eyelids.

“God...”

His jaw began to quiver. He swallowed the dryness in his throat as he fought back frantic gasps, to little avail. The shakiness of his breaths only strengthened the anxious churning in his abdomen. The urge to run to the bathroom to vomit was lingering, but giving in would make matters worse. He had to keep himself together not just for Mikasa’s sake, but for his own sake as well. 

“Armin…”

The firm touch of Mikasa’s hand on his shoulder startled him back to reality. How embarrassed he must have felt to let her see him in this condition. Armin turned his head up towards Mikasa, brushing his knuckle against his flaring nostrils. 

“Come to bed with me,” she said.

“Mikasa, I-“

Instinctively, Mikasa raised an interjecting hand and without another word, Armin obliged to her request, following her back to their bedroom. He soon slipped off his jacket and then his jeans, reducing him to his black undershirt and boxers. 

Mikasa rested a hand on top of Armin’s bicep, gentle fingers gliding against the smooth skin. He paid close attention to her brow, which furrowed briefly before relaxing again. He was used to the prolonged moments of silence as she always spoke with movement, a trait she had perfected for fifteen years.

Her gliding hand found the edge of his tensed shoulder, which flinched to her touch. She immediately pulled back to catch a glance at her husband. His pupils were visibly bloodshot. She softened her gaze as she brushed a hand toward his cheek. He hummed as he rested the top of his arm against the top of her shoulder blades, rubbing them gently.

_Yes, this is okay for now. We’ll talk about this later._

Soon, the couple drifted off in each other’s embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, I've had my own internet for a while and I just moved to a new apartment after I nearly froze to death at the other one. Yeuch. Sorry it took so long to update and it may take me a while to get back into the swing of things. In the meantime, I'll be posting new chapters at my own convenience.


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